Life, Death, Love and Fighting
by JulieE64
Summary: What if Caleb had not allowed Tris to replace him, at the end of Allegiant? This story began as a one-shot with that very premise but has grown into its own story of how that change might have impacted Tris and Tobias' future. This is the ending I would have loved, and while I won't promise "just fluff," neither of our main characters dies and their love only strengthens.
1. Tris

TRIS

I hear footsteps behind me and I turn, gun pointed and ready. I'm stunned that it's Caleb, his face almost green with fear but his gaze determined. He points a weapon back at me.

"I have to do this, Beatrice! Give me the backpack," he says in a ragged but resolute tone that reminds me of our father.

I'm shocked and touched, but equally determined.

"Caleb, no," I say gently. "There's no time...and I may be able to resist..."

"**No**, you can't!" he cuts me off, staring at me with a fierce intensity I've never seen in him. "It doesn't manipulate minds like the other serums! They were developed to impact very targeted sections of the brain for highly specialized purposes. This...it's just poison, pure and simple...a blunt, unsophisticated tool! It destroys all living cells that it comes into contact with, Beatrice!"

He begins to grab the backpack from me impatiently. For just a moment, my Dauntless instincts kick into high gear and I fight him. And then I begin to process what he's telling me, and stop and stare at him, wide eyed.

"I've messed up a lot of things," Caleb continues, his voice ragged and his eyes begging my understanding. "Too many. You can barely stand to look at me - I can barely stand to look at myself. I won't let you die for me, though! And trust me...you **would** die."

I shudder. A few moments ago, I was sure I knew the right thing to do. Now I don't. I've lost a lot of trust in my brother over the past few months, but I somehow know that he must be right about the death serum. He's spent days on end studying serums. And so I stand mutely and let my brother call the shots. After all, I don't want to die. But I don't want him to die, either.

"Why?" I sputter in frustration.

"It needs to be me," he says with total conviction, while tears are running down his cheeks. "Don't you see? I can't live like this...and this way I can die at least knowing that I finally did the right thing...for the right reasons. I love you. I haven't exactly acted like it lately, but I do. And you...have a life. I don't..."

I open my mouth to protest, but he stops me.

"You **know** it's true. If I die now, for this...for you...at least my life will have had some meaning."

I can't quite bring myself to nod, but I don't disagree, either. Instead, I stare at him with tears flowing down my cheeks now, too. For the first time in a long time, I understand Caleb. The values of our parents run deep in both of us.

He pulls on the clean suit and starts placing the explosives by the door to the weapons lab, just as we'd planned.

"Besides, your boyfriend would have killed me when I gave that message," he adds drily, attempting to smile slightly through his own tears.

We both know that attempt at grim humor isn't far from the truth. I can't help but feel relief that Caleb won't have to deliver my message to Tobias.

But Caleb will be dead. Despite his betrayal, his selfishness and his previous cowardice, he's still my brother. He's the only flesh and blood connection to my parents, and the safe and secure home of my childhood. And that sends painful shivers through me. Again.

Just a short time ago, that same reflection, coupled with guilt and the assertion that I could survive the death serum, led me to push Caleb aside so that I could risk my own life instead. My brother's actions now stun me, and I finally find within me the forgiveness for him that had alluded me.

"Go," he says softly, kissing me on the forehead. I can see the sweat pouring from his brow.

"I love you, Caleb. I never stopped," I whisper, my vision blurred with tears.

"I know. It woke me up," he says with a sigh, while lining up the explosives. He's no longer crying, and his expression is resolved.

I learned many excruciating lessons at Erudite headquarters; perhaps none harder than the importance of telling your loved ones how you feel while you still can.

"I forgive you, Caleb,"I say softly.

He stops in his tracks and stares glassy-eyed at me for a moment, as if to ascertain my sincerity.

"Thank you for that, Beatrice," he says tenderly, but then glances at the explosives and hardens himself for what comes next."Now, go!"

I turn and rush out of the vestibule, my stomach churning. While I expect the detonation, the sound of shattering glass and Bureau alarms still startles me, perhaps to the reality of the situation.

While I logically know I should run away quickly, I reflexively step back towards the vestibule. I need to know that he survived the blast.

He is walking over the remains of the door into the weapons lab. To my horror, I see David waiting for him, with a gun raised to Caleb's back. I can't allow David to make my brother's sacrifice a futile one. I step back into the vestibule, aim my gun at David's head and shoot. He slumps over.

As I step back out of the vestibule, I hear the death serum hissing forcefully through the vents.[Je4] That's my last memory before everything fades to black.

I'm not sure how much time has passed when I awaken to see my brother again, still in the clean suit, walking by me. He doesn't see me, and I'm too dazed to try to call to him. I'm still on the floor of a hall of some sort, but it appears that we're no longer at the compound.

Caleb seems to be entering a veil of mist. There is a bright glow beyond it, illuminating the silhouette of two figures. I wonder if this is just another serum-induced nightmare, recalling the sickly-sweet smelling blast of air that filled my nostrils just after I shot David. I get up and follow Caleb, feeling surprisingly lithe.

As I come closer, I recognize the figures as our parents, still dressed as they were when they died. They embrace Caleb with tears and soft words I can't hear.

I am too awed to speak, filled with joy to see my mother and father again. The love and warmth emanating from the secure cocoon formed by the three of them is overwhelming. I instinctively long to join them, and yet I can't walk through the translucent barrier. There is a churning in my gut. Somehow, I suddenly **know**, instinctively, that this is no illusion, and the mist is all that stands between my life and death.

And then they look at me through the mist. My parents' expressions are filled with both love and sorrow. Caleb's is of outright grief.

"It can't be! I died so she could live," he wails.

"Hello, Beatrice," says my mother, softly caressing my name with her voice as she wraps an arm around my brother in comfort. I long for her touch, too, but keep my distance as she leans over to Caleb, presumably to tell him how I came to be here, too.

"We're so proud of you both," she says, turning back to me with a sad smile." You've both made enormous sacrifices for each other... and for those you've left behind."

I choke out a sob, on her last words. Tobias' face swims before me. The thought that I will never again kiss him or feel his touch makes me collapse with grief, in front of the mist. My parents look equally devastated, unable to reach through the wall to give me the comfort I so desperately need. I begin to slowly rise to accept my death, and join their warm embrace.

"No, Beatrice," says my father suddenly, forcing me to raise my head in surprise and lock eyes with him. "You are still alive, but barely. If you were already dead, you would have instinctively followed your brother into the mist."

I stare at him in both relief and confusion.

"Not everyone is given a choice, but you apparently have one right now," he continues, saying each word with gravity. "If you decide that you're ready to join us...now... nothing could be simpler. You just need to step through the veil, and into our arms."

I suddenly hear a shouting and crying in the distance, growing louder by the second.

"You can choose to fight, though, Beatrice - fight to live," he continues quietly and with a sad but tender gaze. "You'll have to fight through tremendous pain, because you've had some exposure to the death serum. Even if you win, your body may never be quite the same again. You may have...limitations."

I remain on the ground, with my arms around my knees, trying to process the gravity of my father's words. I'm still only 16, and yet it seems a whole lifetime has passed since I fell into the Dauntless net, and into Tobias' strong arms. But I'm still just a child too; one who longs for my mother's embrace, my father's wisdom, and silly daily squabbles with my brother. I long for the safe, sweet haven of my family's glow.

"There's no wrong or right answer, Beatrice. It's not about being selfless, or brave, or smart," adds my mom gently, glancing at both me and Caleb with teary eyes.

We're all momentarily distracted by sounds in the distance that seem to be coming closer and louder. There are several voices, all sounding anguished. While I can't clearly distinguish them all, I'm certain that Tobias is among them.

The thought of him finding me dying is unbearable. His anxiety over my near-suicidal behavior following my parents' death almost broke us up. I only realized that I wanted to live when it seemed certain that I'd die, at Erudite headquarters. Will Tobias believe that I wasn't trying to die, now? Who will tell him, with Caleb dead?

"I know that...you'll be loved if you choose to go back," says my father, his voice rough with untypical emotion. "There's no guarantee of how long you'll have, though. There never is. It could be just minutes, or hours, or it could be decades. All I can tell you for certain is that you don't have to die right now."

Up until the past year, I took my life, my family, and all of the small comforts that were part of our Abnegation existence for granted. Everything changed on Choosing Day. Virtually every decision I've made since that day - beginning with my selection of Dauntless - has been a great risk.

I'm so weary of fighting, though; wearier than anyone alive for just 16 years should be. Over the past year I've been shot, beaten, drugged, nearly raped and nearly drowned. Part of me wants to give into that fatigue, and escape to the love and security waiting for me, across the mist.

But I've also fallen deeply in love, and I've made true friends. And for the first time in my life, I've felt strong and truly alive. I'm no longer just a Stiff, or Natalie and Andrew's daughter, or a small, meek girl who could pass for a 12 year old. Even my identity as Tobias' girlfriend is just a part of who I am now: someone who is confident enough about myself to deal with whatever life throws my way.

If all went as hoped today, we've hopefully made a positive difference in our world. There will still be plenty of work to do, regardless. I don't know exactly what I can do - I can't even begin to imagine jobs in a society without factions. I think I could do something of value, though.

But if I choose to live, my body may not be the same, my father said. That could just mean that I'll no longer be able to jump on and off trains...or it mean that I'll be relegated to a wheelchair for the rest of my life. I know that Tobias and my friends would never abandon me, but would I really be a burden to them? Zeke doesn't seem to see Shauna that way. Tobias would likely insist on caring for me no matter what, but would he begin to resent that choice someday, if it meant never being able to move from Chicago, or having children?

I know that he would grieve deeply for me, if I were to die now. Would he eventually heal though, and possibly have a better life without me in it? I know that he would be furious at me for even thinking such a thought.

My mother gives me a knowing glance. She's always been able to figure out my thoughts, sometimes before I've even unraveled them.

"We taught you a lot about the great beauty and purpose that comes with self-sacrifice, Beatrice. There **are** things well worth dying for," she says slowly, her eyes locked with mine. "But there's also so much to live for. There is incredible beauty in human life, and not just through selflessness. Love, friendship...the simple joys like laughter or enjoying a good meal...are all gifts meant to be savored. Beatrice. Part of me...rejoiced when you chose Dauntless, because I knew you'd have more opportunities to experience all life has to offer."

She turns to look meaningfully at my father, who had not reacted similarly to my rejection of Abnegation. His hurt expression as I left the podium is indelibly etched in my mind. But now he turns to me with a small smile, and understanding in his eyes. That look means the world to me.

"Life is a blessing, Beatrice," he says, simply. "You've yet to experience much of it."

I look at Caleb with a stab of guilt.

"It's okay, Beatrice," he says, with a gentle smile that seems world away from his tortured expression just a short time ago and, before his death. "I feel...peaceful, now. At peace with myself. I couldn't have had what you have with Tobias, or even friendships like yours... the way that I was... after what I'd done. I was too ashamed. This was the only way. It was...redemption."

I try to smile back at him through my tears, feeling a mixture of awe at his transformation, gratitude for his acceptance and grief for all that he'll never have a chance to know. We're all silent again, as a voice in the background become gut-wrenching.

It's Tobias sobbing softly, just as he did after he almost killed m in a serum-induced state that made him believe I was his enemy. Somehow I reached through his drug-infected mind and finally got him to recognize me, though, by refusing to kill him when I could have. His horror at what he'd almost done brought him to tears. But this is even worse. Dauntless re-named him Four because having just four fears made him legendary. One of those terrors is watching me die, and now he's living it.

I can make it stop. If I can win this fight, I can show him that I choose life. I choose him. Maybe we can start new lives together - something we hadn't even dared to dream before this morning. My body may have new limitations, but there's no telling what they might be. Or how, or even if, they might affect us. Isn't the promise of what we could be worth the risk?

And I see him in mind's eye as he was this morning - dreamy-eyed and smiling - as we woke up next to each other, feeling like it was exactly where we both belonged.

"I need to go back," I say out loud, almost before I even think it.

All three of them smile at me with the unconditional love and encouragement that I've taken for granted for so much of life. I'm now painfully aware of Tobias' abused and fractured childhood, and of the broken pieces it's left inside of him. I want to share with him the same unselfish love that I was blessed to receive, and witnessed between my parents.

When I grieved for them, and for the brother I thought I'd lost forever, he told me that he'd be my family. He held me when I needed to be held, and pushed me when I had to be pushed. Without him, I couldn't have survived my imprisonment and near-execution at Erudite headquarters. Without him, I'd likely still be a frail Stiff struggling to become something more.

Teenage boys aren't usually known for their sensitivity. To all but me, Tobias is no different. But within the short span of our relationship, he's become everything to me: my demanding teacher, my dearest friend and my warm and passionate lover. And now it's time for me to choose him over all else, as no one has ever done for him before.

I turn to look at each of my family members slowly, to memorize each of their faces. God willing, I will see those beloved faces again, but not too soon.

Then I realize that I don't know how to get back to my human life. Without a word, my mother understands my perplexed expression.

"Just close your eyes and focus on Tobias' voice, Beatrice," she says gently. "Let your love for him, and for your friends, keep you grounded in that world. Be brave."

Those prophetic words are with me, blurred with Tobias' sobs, as my consciousness slides back into my human form. The sudden transition is excruciating; I have been badly injured before, all over my body. This is worse. It's like I'm violently on fire from the inside out with the flames attempting to lick through every inch of my skin. For the briefest of moments I begin to regret my decision, and long to return to the painless sanctuary of the next world.

Then I heed my mother's words and listen to Tobias' anguished voice:

"She's burning up! Do something for her...anything!"

I hear someone's steps coming closer.

"Four...I know...I don't want her to suffer either," says Cara, clearly out of breath and panicked, but trying to stay calm. "There's no research on anyone ever surviving the death serum, though. No one has ever gotten indirect exposure, like this. We just don't know...but the fever may be her body's best natural means for getting rid of the the serum."

They are both silent for a moment. I then feel Tobias' hand holding mine. It sounds like Cara leaves the room - maybe to see Uriah? Do they think that I may be brain-dead, like him?

"Stay with me Tris! Don't you leave me," he pleads in a raw whisper.

I want to open my eyes. I want to squeeze his hand. I'm desperate to do something, anything, to show him that I'm still here. But there is an intense, unbearable pressure encasing every part of my body like cement, making me unable to draw together the energy for even the slightest movement. I'm literally entombed in pain. Only a small part of my mind remains free and able to rebel against the darkness.

I force myself to think of my mother's final advice: _Listen to Tobias. Focus on his voice._

I do that. I remind myself of all of the times in my life that I've proved myself stronger than anyone thought I could be, except maybe Tobias. Somehow, he's always believed in me, even when I barely believed in myself.

I focus on the feel of his rough fingers, curled around mine. I channel every ounce of energy I can muster to my weak, useless digits, willing them to bend in slightly, just enough to show him I'm here.

"Tris?! Cara! She just squeezed my hand!"

I hear another set of footsteps that sound heavier than Cara's Another hand takes my free hand, and feels my pulse.

"It's possible," says an unfamiliar older male voice, "But I must warn you that patients like this often have involuntary reactions."

Anger and frustration seem to incite a momentary release of adrenalin throughout me. My eyes fly open, capturing Tobias' direct gaze, just inches from mine. I drink in his beautiful dark blue eyes, which are filled with desperation. I need to give him hope. He needs to know that I haven't given up. **Won't** give up.

"Fighting," I croak out in a ragged whisper, with every syllable costing me in pain, as I struggle to keep my eyes locked with Tobias as long as possible. He leans down to kiss my hand, glowing with relief, love..and pride.

"I'll fight for you. You need to rest," he whispers gently, and then kisses my forehead, looking lighter and younger than a moment earlier. "I love you, and I'm not going anywhere."

And my eyelids shut again, as if weights have forced them down. Calmness floods over me in waves, knowing I've gotten my message across to Tobias, and that he's her next to me. I feel myself collapsing back into darkness, but not before I hear Tobias address the stranger - probably a hospital worker - with a bit of smugness.

"Still think that was an involuntary reaction?"

I don't hear his response before I drift off.


	2. Tobias

TOBIAS

I wake up to silence and a sore neck, as I've spent most of the last two days sitting, and occasionally sleeping, in a chair next to Tris in a hospital bed. After nearly 40 hours of restless drifting in and out of consciousness, her fever finally dropped. The doctors decided that she was finally stable enough to administer painkillers, and she now sleeps peacefully. Her mouth is open and she's drooling slightly, making me smile and take a mental picture to tease her with later.

Later. At least it now seems fairly certain that there **will** be a later for us. My return to the Compound was horrific, beginning with Cara's terrified face that told me something was very, very wrong. When I saw Tris' unconscious body seeming to burn with fever and heard doctors and nurses speak of her impending death as if it was a certainty, I died a little, too. The moment she proved them wrong was one of the best of my entire life.

While Tris' resilience doesn't surprise me, it's awed the doctors and nurses. Once it became clear she would live, they initially stayed skeptical that she could survive even indirect exposure to death serum without brain damage or other crippling effects. To be honest, it's long term impact still isn't totally clear. Her rare moments of consciousness, thusfar, have proven that her mind is still very much intact, though, and her body seems to be getting a little stronger all the time. She's given me reason to realistically hope for the best. It's enough to fill my many idle moments with vivid daydreams.

_Tris opens her eyes suddenly, focusing on me with a fierce, sexy gaze. Suddenly, she looks down and her cheeks become slightly flushed, as if suddenly aware that she's not dreaming any more. I love the fact that she still blushes around me. _

_"What were you dreaming about?" I ask, raising an eyebrow while I lean over and stroke her cheek._

_She's silent for a moment, still looking down, but then lifts her face to mine with a sly smile._

_"You," she whispers. "Always you."_

_She pats the bed next to her, and beckons for me to sit there._

_"I'm missed you so much...since that last night, Tobias," she whispers, her eyes fiery and unafraid again. She's so beautiful. She grabs and twists my shirt towards her._

_We kiss, first gently and then with growing urgency. I touch my forehead to hers._

_"So...what were we doing to each other...in your dream?"_

_She smiles and puts her lips to my ear._

_"Showing each other new tattoos..." _

Just as I'm about to allow my imagination to wander from sweetness to total teenage guy fantasy, the sound of running footsteps in the distance rudely snaps me back to reality.**Damn it!** Two years in Dauntless, and two months of almost constantly being on the run have honed my hearing and reflexes entirely too well. To add insult to injury, the running seems to stop completely a moment later.

It's totally quiet again. It's a little unnerving. I've become accustomed to the routine visits of Christina, Cara and Matthew, and to the less routine visits of hospital personnel, all still a bit dazed and befuddled from the memory serum.

The latter group's presence makes me feel so guilty: My girlfriend's well-being is dependent on the kindness and competency of people who have literally lost part of their minds, thanks to us. The fact that their medical skills seem intact and provide them with their only confident moments, with their personal lives forgotten, makes it worse.

I wish there could have been another way. I know Tris was right, though, that sometimes you just have to choose the best of bad options. And now Chicago is safe, and the term "genetically damaged" is literally erased from vocabularies. There's even a chance of a normal relationship with my mom. And Tris and I have a future.

I'm not entirely sure yet what I want to do with that future, except that I want to share it with her. I'm pretty sure she feels the same, but I'll be happier when she's strong enough to tell me that herself.

I shift uncomfortably in , my chair, and remember that I haven't ate in a long time. I had a burger with Christina in the cafeteria ...sometime this morning? It's now about 11 pm, and the cafeteria is closed, but I may be able to scrounge up a sandwich from a hospital staffer. That assumes I can find one, since they now seem scarce.

I don't like leaving Tris alone, but it should only be for a few minutes. I get up, stretch, walk into the hospital corridor, and go to a restroom. As I wash my hands and face minutes later, I hear racing footsteps again.

I step out of the restroom and nearly run into Matthew, who is as white as a sheet and out of breath.

"Hey...what's going on, Matthew?"

He gestures that he needs a moment to collect himself, as he leans over with hands on his knees. A growing feeling of dread overcomes me.

"It's... the Weapons Lab," he says, still panting slightly with his eyes wide and fearful as he wipes sweat from his brow. "The door's still blown out...and no one had cleared the bodies yet...because of the serums."

I wince when he says "bodies" since one of the corpses is Tris' brother, but nod for Matthew to continue.

"They went in today. The bodies were still there, but the stocks of death serum and memory serum weren't. Someone stole them."

Now it's my turn to look wide-eyed and horrified, as I mull the possibilities. Who might have known about the stocks, and had the desire and ability to steal them? The idea that it could have been my mother or father momentarily sickens me, but I can't really envision either as the culprit.

"Have you already checked the video feed? Seems like it would be tough for someone to get into the compound completely undetected, even with most of the Bureau still spaced out from memory serum," I say, grasping for easy answers.

"I'm certain it was an inside job and I'm pretty sure I know who did it," he says darkly, walking me back towards Tris' room and relative privacy as we hear others coming. "I think it was my supervisor. And if I'm right, we all need to leave here. Right away. Especially Tris."


	3. Tobias Continued

**_Thank you all for your reviews, and please keep them coming! I'm sorry for the delay in posting a new chapter. Work and family life have been pretty busy (I'm a bit older than most here, lol) and I was less sure of where I was going with this chapter than others. I promise more Four-Tris soon, though, an ultimately a happy ending._**

I don't want to believe Matthew. I don't want a new enemy or a new fight, and long for the quiet, simple happiness that seemed possible, just a few minutes earlier. I stare at him wide-eyed for a moment as endless questions flood my mind.

Right now, though, I need to know that Tris is safe. I pivot and bolt back down the hospital corridor to her room. Matthew runs with me. We sigh nearly in unison, relieved to see that she's still there, and still breathing well and sleeping peacefully.

"I know how to get the tubes out of Tris' arms. I'll get her ready to go," begins Matthew, anxiously. "You can go tell Cara, Christina and the others.."

"**I'll** take care of Tris," I interrupt forcefully, unwilling to let her out of my sight. "But I need some quick answers first..."

To our shock, a balding, middle-aged man suddenly steps out from behind Tris' door.

"I believe that **I** can provide you all the answers you need, Four," he says directly to me, as he extends his hand with a droll smile. "I'm Alan Cerberus - better known as Cerb, but even better known among some as 'Matthew's supervisor,' apparently."

Matthew and I stare at him, dazed, for a moment. My head literally hurts from the questions filling it. When did he get into Tris' room? Why haven't I met him before? Two facts are obvious from his greeting: He knows who I am, likely from watching years of live video feed from Dauntless, and he has not been reset.

Despite his outward amiability, those facts plus Matthew's warning makes me even warier than normal. Also, lack of sleep and sustenance I do not accept his hand, which he finally lowers.

"Let's cut to the chase,then," he says, his smile fading quickly to a cool, business-like gaze. "I respect a man who feels that trust needs to be earned."

Something about his beady-eyed gaze that makes me feel like he's looking through rather than at me.

"You need to know first that I don't wish to hurt either of you, Tris or your other friends who I suspect were also involved with resetting the Bureau..."

"Cerb...I'm sorry," blurts Matthew, looking panicked, only to be abruptly cut off by Cerb, shaking his head.

"I think I understand your reasons for the resetting, **and** for not confiding in me beforehand, Matthew," said Cerb, with a thin smile that doesn't reach his eyes. "After all, as head scientist here, I've been an obedient soldier to David and to the Genetically Pure agenda for much of my Adult life - certainly for the years you've known me. However, what you don't know is that my acceptance of the entire concept has been at the surface, only."

I glance at Matthew out of the corner of my eye. He looks calmer, and not all together shocked.

"For years, I've quietly presented research to David and others that clearly demonstrates major flaws in our initiative. I've continually recommended a **very** different approach to undoing our mistakes of the past," continued Cerb, moving to seat himself in the worn armchair at Tris' side, and within an arm's reach of her.

He looks as me for a reaction. I fight to keep my expression neutral, out of instinct, but silently move to stand at the chair's side, equally close to Tris, which forces him to strain his neck as he looks up at me to speak. This makes him chuckle lightly, but he doesn't budge from the chair.

When he finally shifts his gaze from me to Matthew, I glance quickly at Tris. She hasn't shifted her position, her eyes remain closed, and her breathing remains slow and steady, as if she's still sleeping deeply. I know she isn't, though - I've watched her sleep enough to know when she's faking. I focus on keeping a poker face as Cerb continues.

"For years, David told me that it just wasn't the right time, because of political difficulties, to introduce my findings. He allowed me to continue research covertly, with the promise of his support - when the time was right - in exchange for my continued work on serums on correct genetic damage," he says, with anger now evident beneath his calm and amiable veneer.

"I recently learned that he was only placating me. I was a fool to ever think otherwise. After all, why would he ever present evidence that his life's work was, in fact, based on utter garbage?" he continues, his voice literally shaking with disgust. "While I generally find the practice of resetting to be reprehensible...well, let's just say that I can appreciate your choice to reset hundreds at the Bureau in order to prevent the resetting of thousands in Chicago."

"**However," **he continues with a droll smile at Matthew, "I am rather glad that I correctly guessed you were up to something, and left the compound at the right time."

He folds his hands neatly in his lap, and gazes primly at both of us.

"No - **I** have no desire to harm any of you. However - if others here ever get their hands on the recording that I found on David's corpse - well, that could be a different story. Especially for Tris, since it's clear that **she** planned to sacrifice herself to reset the Bureau before her brother heroically pushed her aside."

I feel my chest tightening in denial.

"That isn't true! It was **always** going to be Caleb," I say, trying to keep my voice calm. "She wouldn't have..."

My voice drifts off on its own, though, as I realize she would have. Of course she would have. Regardless of everything else, he was her brother, and Tris...

I tighten my fists into balls at my sides to keep from exploding as I recall the times she's recklessly risked her life, and our promises to each other since then. Had she always planned to go instead of Caleb? Was our last night together meant to be an ending, rather than the new start we spoke of so hopefully, in the atrium? I glance painfully at Tris, desperately hoping for answers that I know she can't give me now, as she's still wisely pretending to be asleep.

Matthew is silent and he know? Cerb, on the other hand, raises an eyebrow at me with great interest.

"That **is** what happened, I assure you. And I have the proof."

Matthew runs a hand through his hair, and asks, "And the memory and death serums? You have them, as well?"

"Of course," says Cerb.


	4. Chapter 4

**Neglected the following disclaimer in earlier chapters: The characters below are entirely Veronica Roth's and not mine, with the exception of Alan Cerberus. He's occasionally mentioned as "Matthew's supervisor" in Allegiant, and we hear his first name just once, but he's never actually present, which would seem to make him an ideal fan fiction character. **

This is not how I wanted Tobias to hear of how I almost sacrificed myself - again. We'd promised each other total honesty. I'd planned to tell him the whole story, when the time was right. But now he's heard it from a stranger and likely thinks the worst - that I'd always planned to go instead of Caleb.

I'm still pretending to sleep, but struggle to open one eye just enough to see him. His face is a pale, stoic mask but his hands are tightly fisted - so tight, in fact, that they're shaking. I need to talk to him alone, but can't fathom how to make that happen.

I try not to lose myself to worry about Tobias, and instead focus on the ensuing discussion, which Matthew is now leading.

"What do you plan to do with the serums, Cerb?

"Ultimately, I'd love to destroy them all. Mankind would be better for it," said the older man, carefully. "But that's not practical yet, as long as others have the same weapons."

"Just what do you want from us?" asks Tobias, impatiently.

"Ah...the real question," sighs Cerb. "I want what we all want - the chance for all children to grow up to lead peaceful and fulfilled lives - to be able to achieve the huge potential of our human minds.."

"Sounds nice, but how do **we** fit in, precisely?" asked Tobias, his voice edged with sarcasm.

"It may all sound like a pretty dream, Tobias, but I know how to make it a reality, and now is the time," says Cerb, in an urgent tone. "The Bureau and Chicago can be a showcase for the world of what is possible. But I need help - from you three and your friends."

"What kind of **help**?" asks Tobias, exasperated.

"Perhaps it would be best for you to gather your other friends, so I can explain to you all at once..."

It's silent for a moment. I suspect that Tobias and Matthew are looking at each other and deliberating.

"And if we don't want to help you - what then? Are you going to use the memory serum...or death serum on us?" asks Tobias, his voice like ice.

"Heavens, no!" exclaims Cerb. "I took possession of the serums and relocated them to a very secure place,because the Weapons Lab was completely vulnerable - almost anyone could have walked in there and gotten them!"

"I meant what I said earlier. I have no wish to hurt any of you. I also don't want to threaten you. But I also understand that your first inclination, right now, is to flee - perhaps I'd feel the same if the situation was reversed," he continues, almost pleading. "I hope that you and your friends will at least stay and listen to what I have to say, and consider it with an open mind."

"And if we don't want to stay and listen?" asks Matthew.

"I...I hope that it won't come to that, but if you refuse to even listen... I may be forced to provide them the truth about their resetting," he says, clearly uncomfortable. "Even if you leave here - they'll seek out Tris. You and she will never know another peaceful moment, Four."

He clears his throat.

"You obviously outnumber me...and I'm no fighter. Not in the physical sense, at least. I recognize that Mr. Eaton alone could easily beat me to a pulp, with one hand tied behind his back...and will do so if I get an inch closer to Ms. Prior," he continues wryly. "But I've arranged for the video to be automatically delivered to all Bureau residents, at 12 noon tomorrow. Only I can stop it - alive - so my death or injury would only harm you."

"If you discuss this with me - with open minds - but then decide you want nothing to do with it or me, so be it," says Cerb, rising from the chair. "I will cancel delivery of the video. You have my word."

There is silence again.

"How do we know that we can trust you? " asks Matthew, incredulously. "I've known you for years...but I've obviously never **really** known you."

"That's fair, Matthew, but I could certainly say the same of **you**. I suppose we'll have to trust each other," replies Cerb curtly. "Do we have a deal, gentlemen? We can meet here at 9 am tomorrow..."

"Here? Why?," asks Tobias.

Cerb surprises me by chuckling lightly, again.

"Because I hope Tris will want to at least hear the discussion - just as she's doing now. My dear, I've spent a good portion of my life observing unconscious subjects. Let us just say that acting is clearly not your forte."

He fortunately leaves the room as he says this, leaving me to blink open my eyes to a slight smirk on Matthew's face. Tobias is clearly not amused, though, and looks at me briefly with a wounded expression that I long to erase. He leans over and kisses on the forehead.

"We need to talk...but it can wait until you're up to it," he says softly, making me feel even worse. Speaking is still difficult for me, so I just nod slightly and try to telegraph an apology through my eyes. We just stare at each other, for a moment, until Matthew sighs loudly, clearly reminding us of his presence. Tobias closes the door.

"I don't know what to make of this guy. Is he on the level?" he asks Matthew, who sighs, sits in the chair by my side, and puts his head in his hands.

"I've worked with him for years, but I've learned more about him the last 30 minutes than all the rest of that time,combined," he finally says, looking alternately at me and Tobias, and sighing again.

"Here's what I do know, though. Cerb is arrogant but he's also totally brilliant. He's eccentric and has...limited people skills," says Mathew."Despite that, he's risen pretty high here - in fact, he's now the senior staffer, with David dead, and maybe the only one he wasn't reset."

It's interesting that Cerb grew suspicious of us, but apparently decided not warn anyone else in the Compound, I think to myself.

"He has no life outside of work that I know of," continues Matthew, as if reading my thoughts. "He's not exactly nice, but he's always seemed kind of...honorable." He scratches the back if his neck thoughtfully.

"He never told me outright that he disagreed with GP philosophy, but I've always suspected," he continues. "I've overheard more than a few rebellious mutterings over the years. I had no idea that he had some kind of black ops research going on, though. He was out of the office a lot - supposedly sick - so I guess it fits. I really don't know what he wants from **us**, though," he adds, looking first at Tobias, then at me. "I mean...he could pretty much get all the reset people to do whatever he wants, right now. **Especially** if we all left the compound."

Tobias suddenly looks especially grave.

"**Uriah**. Tomorrow...is **the** day. His family is coming in the afternoon," he says darkly, sighing. "I couldn't have left yet, anyway."

We're all quiet for a moment, deep in thought. Uriah has frequently been in my thoughts, as I've drifted in and out of consciousness. Rather than just grieving the loss of a true friend, though, I wonder if he's waiting outside of the misty barrier, as I was. Is Marlene ready to embrace him on the other side? When the respirator is turned off, will he have a choice, as I did, or just instinctively cross the barrier?

Even if I could easily speak, I'm not sure I'm ready to share these thoughts and my experiences that caused them with everyone. I want...even **need **to tell Tobias, though...when we're alone.

Matthew breaks the silence with a sudden grin.

"And other than being a lousy actress, how are **you, **Sleeping Beauty?"

I force a return smile, appreciating his attempt to lighten the tension in the room. Tobias frowns as he moves to my side. I clear my throat, which is still painfully raw.

"I'm...okay," I finally project in a whisper, although I'm obviously not.

"We all have a lot to think about...and we need to let Christina, Cara, Amar and others who aren't reset know what's going on," says Matthew, getting up and moving awkwardly towards the door."I think **I'll** do that...and get some shut-eye...and let you two love-birds kiss and make-up, so that you can focus your combined brain power on...other stuff. Check back in the early AM? I expect the docs will be making rounds long before then.."

Tobias nods, and I smile at Matthew appreciatively, as he opens the door and walks out. It sounds like there's been a shift change at the hospital, with the sounds of distant conversation and footsteps now evident. Tobias closes the door and then sits down across from me. The hurt look in his deep blue eyes undoes me.

"We do need to talk...and...it can't wait," I manage to say softly, with pain etching every syllable. "But first...would you just...hold me?"

A sad but gentle smile is Tobias' response, as he moves to the edge of my bed, leans down, slips one arm underneath my shoulders, and pulls me close to him.

"Mmm...good, but not good enough, is it?" he says softly. I nod - the position is a bit awkward for both of us.

He releases me gently, and thoughtfully studies the intravenous tube extending from my left arm. He leans down again to delicately slide one arm underneath my shoulders and the other beneath my knees. He then carefully lifts me a few inches off of the bed and swings me slightly sideways, so that he can sit on the edge of the bed with me on his lap. His strong arms encircle me, and my head is on his chest.

**This** feels so right. I sigh and close my eyes contentedly to the steady music of his heartbeat. We both seem to momentarily forget all that is wrong in our world.

He reaches for a glass of water with a straw, sitting on a small nightstand at the corner of the bed. I nod gratefully. I've been given fluids intravenously, but that hasn't helped my raw and chafed throat.

"A little vulnerability does wonders, hmm?" he says with a raised eyebrow, as I sip the water.

Startled, I turn my face to him.

"I..I **am**...," I begin to sputter, before he interrupts me, and grabs the cup to put it back on the table.

"I know," he says with a thin teasing smile that doesn't extend to his eyes. "It's just...hard for me to be upset with you when you 're like this."

I swallow hard, feeling tears fill my eyes. This is not like me - at least not the strong person he's helped me to become. I know Tobias is trying to lighten our mood, but he's made me recognize that I currently **am** just a frail little girl.

"Hey," he says tenderly, brushing a hand over my cheek. "Dumb joke. I'm sorry."

His sweetness almost makes me feel worse. Maybe I'm really not ready for this conversation. We're quiet for a moment.

"Before we start talking about - _the other - _what do you think about this stuff with_ '_Cerb_' " _he asks, his voice reverted to a normal conversational tone. "I assume you were awake the whole time?"

I nod, focusing on the alarming discussion that had just ended. Tobias is purposely distracting me by bringing it up now, I know, but he also still respects my opinion, I hope.

"I think...he's really...**sincere," **I whisper with difficulty, finally."But...sincerely...wanting...to... improve the world? Or sincerely...deranged? Or both? I'm...not sure."

"Me neither," says Tobias thoughtfully. He suddenly cups my chin with hand and turns my face toward him. "Hey...you're still the strongest person I've ever met, Tris. You just need a little extra help right now...and I **like** taking care of you."

"I know," I say, with a sigh."I just...don't want you...to let me off... easy...just because I'm...I'm...now this weak little..."

He suddenly covers my mouth with his. His kiss is filled with longing, but its intensity is just what I need to forget everything around us, and everything that has happened. I feel totally alive.

I reach out my hand to touch his face...and pull painfully on the tube in my arm. I pull away from Tobias, wincing.

"Shit...what did I do?" he asks, panicked.

"You didn't...I did," I croak out hoarsely, pointing to the IV's entry into my arm, which is fortunately still secure.

"Well...I shouldn't have.." he begins, clearly upset.

I shake my head with a small smile, in total disagreement.

"No, I really shouldn't have...but I wanted to show you that you're not a **little** anything to me," he says, rubbing his neck with one hand, his voice sounding rough. "You're **everything** to me. And I **can't** let you off easy...because I can't take this...constant worrying about when you might decide to selflessly sacrifice yourself next!"

I sigh, trying to figure out how to best explain what happened. Since speaking is still excruciating for me, brevity is also important.

"I didn't...lie to you. I never wanted to leave you. I was... just...**stupid**," I whisper, pausing between words to minimize the pain. "Caleb totally froze... at first...and he's...still my brother. I couldn't...**force** him."

"I thought I **could**...survive the death serum...and that he **couldn't**...and so I went instead. I was...so certain I could overcome it. Just **stupid**."

I close my eyes for a moment, now fully absorbing the gravity of my actions that day. Tobias gently rubs my back.

"If you can't finish this now, Tris, it's ok. Really. I'm beginning to get the picture," he says softly, caressing the side of my face.

He means it, I know. I don't want this hanging between us, though. I don't want to hurt him anymore. Maybe more than that, though - I want him to know that I've really and truly changed. I know I'm not invincible, and that what we have between us is the most precious thing I'll ever have in my life.

"No - now," I say, taking a deep breath before continuing. He hands the cup to me again, and I sip gratefully. "Caleb **knew**.. I couldn't survive it. So **Erudite**."

Tobias rolls his eyes meaningfully at me.

"He..couldn't let me do it... In the end, I forgave him... For everything. But..it was mostly about..him forgiving himself."

I look away from Tobias for a moment, still taking in the enormity of losing my brother.

"In the end, your brother had some Abnegation in him, after all," says Tobias, thoughtfully. "I hope he's at peace, now."

"He is," I whisper softly, unsure if I have the strength to continue. Despite Caleb's tranquility, I still ache for him and for my parents, and all that we'll never share together, in this life. There is nothing selfless about my feelings.

"I saw him... and my parents," I tell Tobias, impulsively, because it gives me hope of seeing them again. We've both lost far too many people we've cared for, and I want to share that hope with him.

"I...I.. could have...joined them. I had...a choice. I chose...to fight...for my life. So I could...be with you."

Tobias looks a little stunned and touched by the last part.

"Maybe...just a dream...but I don't think so," I continue, recalling it all in a hoarse whisper. "Your voice...brought me back **here**. My mom said... to focus on ...your voice..."

"Fighting," he says with a little awe and a tender smile, recalling my brief initial return to consciousness.

I want to tell him more about what I saw...in my glimpse of the after-life, or my dream of it. Whatever it was. But not today. I feel my energy quickly waning.

"Yes. **Fighting**, " I say, the emotional memory momentarily re-charging me. Recollections of Tobias' misery and my intense physical struggle, before I spoke that word, make my eyes moist. Again.

"I can't...promise...to never be..stupid.. again," I whisper. "But not like **that**...I..never want..to put you through that...again. And I want...to live. I want to be with you, Tobias. ...More than anything."

He stares at me deeply for a moment, as if assure himself that I really mean it. He leans down and kisses me on the forehead.

" I can't survive that again, Tris. I won't tell you that I'll leave if you do...because I'm not certain that I could," he whispers roughly, his eyes pleading in a way that tears me up inside. I hate myself for causing him so much despair.

"I'm.. **so..** sorry, Tobias," I say, my eyes getting moist again. "Never**..** again. I promise. **Please...**believe...me**."**

He picks up the edge of his loose t-shirt with one hand to dry my eyes.

"I **do** believe you, Tris," he says tenderly, kissing me below each eye, as if to kiss away my tears. "And I'm sure that I'll be stupid again - about something - too."

I feel relief surge through me, at his acceptance.

"I guess I'm... willing to..keep loving you...stupid and all... if you'll do the same," I whisper with a smile, through my tears.

He continues to rub my back, with his hand moving lower. I'm suddenly very conscious of the fact that I'm wearing nothing but a hospital gown that opens in the back.

"Tobias," I say in a mild scold. I feel my cheeks go a little red, as I remember him touching me the same way just a few days ago.

He grins - the first full-fledged one that I've seen in too long .

"God, I love you. I love the way you still blush around me - even when we're alone," he whispers, caressing my face with one hand while continuing to work his way down my spine with the other.

"I won't tell you that l'm not enjoying myself right now, but I'll stop," he says, leaning over to lightly kiss my cheek. "I'll wait until your eyes don't look like they could shut any moment, and you don't have a tube hanging out of your arm. And we're not in danger of a nurse's visit, at any minute."

"Sorry," I say softly with true regret, imagining how scary I must look. "I'm not exactly...my most attractive."

He chuckles, and runs his fingers through my hair, pushing it gently off my face.

"You **always** look good to me, Tris," he whispers in my ear. "I spent a good part of the last couple hours watching you sleep.. fantasizing about whatwe'd be doing...if you were healthy."

"What...were we... doing?" I whisper back.

"Mmm...showing each other new tattoos, for starters," he continues, in a low, sexy rumble, as he leans over to kiss my ravens.

"Where...were they?" I say, laughter bubbling up and counteracting the pain in my throat.

"Use your imagination," he whispers seductively, as he gently pulls me a little closer with one arm and uses the other to pick-up my pillows, and rearrange them they're vertical against the headboard. He then carefully moves backwards, so that his back is leaning on the pillows, and shuts his eyes.

I study the circles under his eyes and his thick razor stubble, and realize that he may be just as exhausted as me. I put my head back on his chest and smile to myself. Maybe we'll both have good dreams.

**_Sorry that I don't post frequently - no time - but you all can tell that I do love to write long and detailed chapters! I greatly appreciate reviews, to include constructive criticism as well as specifics about what works for you in this story, thus far. It will help me with writing the rest. _**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks so much for your reviews, and for following and making this story favorite! Like everyone else, life is busy but your encouragement really helps me to keep me going with this. Lynda Loyde, your review was especially helpful (changed my summary to hopefully better reflect the direction of the story). As always, most of the characters are totally Veronica Roth's and not mine. **

Our hours together on Tris' hospital bed are comforting but not restful. After coming so close to losing her- again - it is an intense relief to have her short blonde hair fanned over my chest, and to feel the warmth of her body next to mine.

And yet, neither of us is able to sleep much. Even when I eventually move back to the chair to give us both more space, she grabs my hand in hers. We share an almost childlike need to stay connected.

Sometime in the wee hours of the morning, we decide to try to convince her doctor to have the intravenous tubes removed from her arm. She is now able to eat, drink and take medications independently. More to the point, though, we are anxious about the meeting with Cerb, and want the capacity to flee immediately afterwards, if needed. We obviously can't tell the doctor that primary reason, though.

"She's been stable for less than 24 hours," he initially replies, with a deep scowl directed at me. "We still don't even know the full impact of the poison, and will need to put her through a number of tests, now that she's getting stronger."

Cara walks in then, and hands me a very much-appreciated blueberry muffin and large coffee. Tris doesn't seem to even notice the muffin; a sure sign that she's still a long way from total recovery.

Not surprisingly, Cara has developed a strong bond with many of the doctors and nurses. She understands medical terminology- pretty much the only language many of them are comfortable speaking in their post-memory serum state - and has tried to help several to re-learn aspects if their personal lives from their computer records. Since the hospital staff all wear name badges, their basic identities are no mystery, at least.

One of the nurses - Annie - follows Cara into the room and begins to check the IV bags. I'd sort of met her during the night, while I was half-asleep. A tall, pretty brunette who looks to be a few years older than me, she'd found us cuddling on the bed during the night. While she initially seemed shocked to see me on the bed with Tris, who was sleeping, she hadn't asked me to leave. Annie ultimately went about the business of taking Tris' vitals in stride as if I wasn't there. Her only acknowledgement of my presence was a shy "good night," as she left, and she's shown no sign of recognition since she re-entered the room.

"Doctor - may I talk to you out in the hall?" she asks, suddenly. Tris, Cara and I all look at her with concern.

The doctor assents with an annoyed nod and follows her. I want to hear this discussion, and get up to follow them.

"Four," says Cara quietly, shaking her head to discourage him. "I've gotten to know Annie...and I think she'll tell us afterwards."

I'm suddenly a little less hungry for my muffin, but gulp down the coffee. My free hand holds Tris', but we avoid each others' gaze.

The nurse returns alone a few minutes later.

"Am I...okay?" Tris whispers.

"Probably as okay as someone can be who been through what you have," says Annie, with a small smile, as she leans over Tris. "I'm going to take your IVs out."

I put my coffee cup down with a thud, and share startled glances with Tris. Cara looks relieved, and almost...amused.

"So **that's** what your talk in the hall was about?" I ask, grateful but somewhat perplexed. She nods, focused on Tris' arm.

"We're not fully staffed right now, due to..._the incident_. I convinced him that ...unless we can provide 24 hour supervision or keep **you** out of here, it's not in our patient's best interest to keep in her IVs, at this time," she says in a business-like tone, her freckled cheeks turning pink as she looks at me.

Cara actually laughs.

"In other words, the hospital isn't currently staffed to keep two lovesick teenagers off of each other and accidentally ripping out IVs?" she asks.

"Precisely," says Annie, as she completes the removal process. "But if her condition worsens for some reason, we'll have to put the tubes back in."

Tris and I look at each other, and then at Dana and Cara, a bit stunned. I'm more than a little mortified and angry to be labeled as a "lovesick teenager," and apparently one with no self control, to boot.

However, there are times in life when it's best to stay silent, and this is one of those times. We got what we needed.

"Thank...you," says Tris awkwardly to Annie, her scarlet cheeks clearly showing some of the same discomfort as I'm feeling.

Annie sighs, wipes her brow and looks at us thoughtfully with large dark-fringed hazel eyes. "Truthfully, I'm a little jealous of the two of you. I saw you together earlier...and I thought I remembered...being like that with someone."

Now I feel terrible. It's momentarily easy to forget all that we've taken from the Bureau residents when we subjected them to the memory serum and labeled them all as "evil" and deserving of their fate. While that's no doubt true of some people here, some, like Annie, may be guilty of nothing more than being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Annie told me earlier, and I've been trying to help her...to remember more," chimes in Cara, looking equally troubled. "I looked up her records on the computer. She's never been married - we know that much. We looked around her apartment for photos, or momentos of a boyfriend, and didn't find any. She moved here from Indianapolis a few years ago, so it's possible, that it's an old memory..."

"Or...a new...boyfriend," whispers Tris, gripping my hand tighter. Her eyes mirror the guilt in mine.

"Maybe Matthew...or some of the others who weren't reset...knew you before, or will remember seeing you with your boyfriend," I offer."I'd be happy to ask them."

Annie suddenly looks at me, Tris and Cara with an odd expression, for a moment.

"You were all **very** lucky to have not been infected," she says carefully, alternating eye contact with each of us. We are all silent for a moment, as she seems to consider the situation. I suck in my breath, silently.

"I would..appreciate it very much if you'd speak to anyone who might remember something about me," she says finally, with a tinge of coolness.

"Of course we will," says Cara kindly, before I can respond. I nod, and look at Cara with silent gratitude. While my sympathy is very genuine, I'm not sure that I can mask the guilt that goes hand-in-hand with it. My acting ability is at least a notch below Tris'.

"Thank you," says Annie, still a bit coldly.

"Annie...thank **you**...for getting the doctor to agree...about the IVs," whispers Tris. "I'm...much more..comfortable."

Annie shrugs, but responds with a warmer expression.

"You two made it real **clear** this morning that it was needed," she says turning to me. "Just take it slow, _Loverboy_, okay?"

I nod, feeling my ears turning as red as Tris' cheeks, while Cara rolls her eyes. Christina and Matthew just happen to walk in at that moment.

"**Loverboy**? What did Four do now?" asks Christina, with a wicked grin.

Annie laughs, but notices the time on the wall, and begins to walk out of the room.

"Shoot - I'm way behind on rounds. I'll let your friends explain. I'll see you later," she says, grabbing a clipboard. She stands at the doorway with a more serious expression.

"Please **do** let me know...if you hear anything," she says, with an almost pleading look in her eyes.

"We will," says Cara. "Absolutely."

Tris, Cara and I all look at each other with relief, after she leaves. I let out a deep breath. Christina and Matthew look at us quizzically.

I let Cara explain while I lean over to Tris, our hands still entwined.

We already recognize the need to leave the compound immediately, if it appears that Cerb really will release the video of Tris and Caleb. Regardless of the video, though, many here may eventually wonder why some people, like me, were conveniently absent for the resetting, and why others were surprisingly immune to the serum.

"We may not be safe here...no matter what happens with Cerb," I say to Tris softly.

"I know," she responds with a sigh, as she squeezes my hand. I want to lean over and kiss her fingers, but suddenly feel very self-conscious, as Christina nearly doubles-over laughing at Cara's telling of why the doctor reluctantly agreed to approve removal of Tris' IVs.

"Help...me..up?" Tris asks me softly. "I'd like...to go...to the restroom..."

I put my arms around her to boost her into a sitting position. Christina wordlessly goes to her other side, puts an arm around Tris waist and helps her to her feet.

"I'll help you wash up, Tris...Loverboy here can't help you with **everything**," she says, looking at me with a taunting grin.

As I watch the two of them retreat into the bathroom, Matthew and Cara get into a deep discussion about Cerb's scientific pedigree. I think more about Annie's story.

My mother once called Tris a _temporary_ person in my life. I despised her for saying that to Tris. Yet, if Tris and I had been reset, there would be no material evidence that we had been anything more to each other than Dauntless trainer and initiate; and the last two to ever transfer from Abnegation to Dauntless. There are no records, photos, mementos or gifts that would even hint at what we mean to each other.

This is due in part to our Abnegation upbringing, which taught us that photos are a vain indulgence, and gifts a waste of resources. In truth, it's not something I've ever really thought about much before, but it now disturbs me for reasons I can't totally explain, even to myself.

Tris and Christina leave the bathroom, giggling, with their arms around each other. While Tris still can't walk unaided, the opportunity to get somewhat clean has definitely re-energized her.

To my surprise,Christina leads Tris directly to me rather than the bed. I instinctively grab her onto my lap, wrapping my arms around her waist so that she's sitting sideways on me.

"Nice catch," she whispers in my ear, with a small smile. "If...they all...think...we're lovesick...teenagers, we might..as...well...enjoy it."

With that, she brings her lips to mine. I want to respond enthusiastically, but Christina and Matthew's catcalls behind us instinctively make me stiffen and pull back.

Tris looks a little disappointed, and quizzical. I nuzzle my forehead with hers.

"I just wish we were alone," I whisper, hoping to make it clear that I wasn't rejecting her _proactive_ approach. I like that.

"I...almost... always wish... that," she responds softly, with a small smile. Our eyes lock, and I think she know there's something else bugging me. Now isn't the time to explain to her, though.

I know that Tris' attitude about just enjoying our status as "lovesick teenagers" is smart. After all we've been through, though, it bothers me.

I am still technically a teenager, I am deeply in love, and I recognize that cuddling on a hospital bed with a patient who has IVs in her arm probably appeared a tad obsessive. However, I don't like being lumped with all of the shallow, hormone-driven, _temporary_ couples that surrounded me both in high school and in Dauntless. After all,I've had to care of myself for most of my life, and Tris and I have handled some pretty weighty adult issues for the past few months. Our relationship has had little opportunity to be anything but serious. There is nothing flighty about us.

For now, I know we need to focus on the meeting with Cerb, who should be arriving soon. Also, Zeke and the rest of Uriah's family will be arriving this afternoon for the moment we're all dreading: Uriah's imminent death. I pull Tris a little closer, knowing that we'll need each other's strength to get us through the next few hours.

**Again, please consider writing a review to let me know about what is and isn't working for you in this story. Thanks to all who have been doing so! It means a lot to me. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks so much to those who have chosen to follow, favorite or review this story! It means a lot to me, and keep me going with this even when it seems like I should be focusing on real life. As always, the characters are all Veronica Roth's and not mine, except for Cerb and Annie.**

"My current life began when I was..._deposited_...here, nearly 20 years ago. I was 27 years old, and I had been _reset_," begins Cerb dramatically, as he sits in an extra chair borrowed from an empty hospital room down the hall.

Cerb has our rapt attention, as Tobias and I, Christina, Cara and Matthew gather around him for our appointed meeting, to find out what the Bureau's chief scientist wants from us. Tobias' arms tighten slightly around my waist as I remain on his lap in the other chair, with a warm robe covering my flimsy hospital gown. Christina, Cara and Matthew sit transfixed on the edge of the bed.

"Like everyone else who has been subjected to this - _process - _Iwas initially dazed, confused and desperate for some context...to help me make sense of my new existence," he continues, moving his head to alternately lock his sharp dark eyes with each of us as he speaks.

"David and others here provided me... plausible explanations... and I soon become just another loyal scientist-soldier in the war for _Genetic Purity_," he says bitterly.

"That persona was only my outer shell, though...and the only side of me _you've_ ever known, Matthew," he says, with a slight nod to his longtime employee.

"I suspected that you might not totally agree with the Bureau's _direction, _but I never guessed...," began Matthew.

"No, you wouldn't have," responds Cerb, shaking his head with self-disgust. "You see, the person _you've_ known **is** the puppet I became after the resetting. While I can never truly be the person that I was before that...I have reclaimed bits and pieces of my old self, over time, and I've worked to make myself stronger...in ways that I've hidden from the Bureau. I've been waiting for the right time...and now **is** that time."

My friends and I glance nervously at each other, and Tobias' hands clutch mine.

"I'm sorry, but we still don't know what you want from _us_," says Cara anxiously, as she runs a hand over her hair to smooth an already-tidy ponytail. Cerb sighs, and looks thoughtfully at each of us.

"As I told some of you last night...I have no wish to harm _any_ of you. I set-up delivery of the Weapons Lab video as insurance - to convince you all to at least listen to what I have to say and seriously consider it. Blackmail is not my style, though," he continues, sighing. "You are all anxious and perhaps fearful of me, and my plans. As a show of faith, though - and to quell your anxiety for this discussion - I'll cancel delivery of the video _now_."

That's a tremendous relief, and I let out my breath. After all that we've been through, though, this seems almost too _civil, _and too easy. I turn my head to look at Tobias, who seems fascinated by the small device that Cerb is pulling out of the pocket of his button-down shirt. He begins to rapidly type on it.

"There. _Done_. I'm now truly at your mercy," he says solemnly, handing the device to Matthew as proof, while the rest of us look on, with some confusion over what just transpired.

"That's a computer? I've heard of ones that small, but I've never actually _seen_ one," exclaims Tobias, suddenly.

"Yes, it is," replies Cerb, with a grim smile. "Believe it or not, nearly everyone over the age 12 used to _own_ one, in this country, just a couple of centuries ago."

"Delivery of the video is cancelled," confirms Matthew, with a nod to us, but looking somewhat perplexed. "But how did you connect it to our network...without a wire?"

"I think it best that I keep just a few tricks up my own sleeve - for now," he replies wryly. "If you're satisfied that I've kept my word, Matthew, please hand it to Mr. Eaton next."

Matthew nods, and hands it to Tobias, who stretches his arm out to grab it with the other still around me. Tobias looks at the screen quickly. His expression darkens as he hands it to me next.

"Everything is there," says Tobias quietly to Cerb, to my surprise. He doesn't trust easily, and he was dying to look at the device...so why is he passing it so quickly?

The answer is obvious, as I look at down at the screen. The cancellation message contains what must be the first frame of the video, with a triangular "play" button imposed on it: Caleb and I, fighting over the backpack in front of the Weapons Lab.

Tobias has no desire to watch me almost die. I have even less desire to re-live my brother's last moments.

Cancellation of the message's sending to "all Bureau users" certainly looks legitimate, though, and for that I'm grateful. I can't begin to imagine how I'd face people like Annie, if they knew their lost memories were my doing. I sigh, and pass the device to Cara.

"It's only a matter of time before the hospital staff become suspicious about the closed door - even in their dazed state - so I'd best continue," announces Cerb, gravely.

"With a little help from a sympathetic colleague and superior hacking skills, I was able to covertly access some materials, over time, that told me a little bit about who I'd been before the resetting. I am originally from the city of Indianapolis," he continues, his clipped tone becoming more ragged.

"I eventually learned that...I'd had... a beautiful wife...and a baby girl. They...theyq both died," he continues, his voice beginning to choke with emotion, as he looks down. Despite all the misery I've seen and even personally experienced, I'm stunned and horrified by his revelation.

Cerb reaches into an envelope that he brought into the room, and pulls out a large photo. He hands it to me first. Tobias looks at it too, with his chin on onto my shoulder. It is a wedding photo: The man and woman gaze at each other with equally enraptured expressions and joined hands. While only their profiles are visible, the man is clearly Cerb - younger, thinner, happier, and with more hair, but with the same sharp, dark eyes and awkward smile. The woman is pretty, with dark olive skin, long and upswept black hair, deep-set brown eyes and a wide, warm smile.

I look up at Cerb with sadness for all he's lost, and unsure of what I could or should say that would be of any comfort. There are no words.

"I only have a birth certificate..and a death certificate...a for my little girl," he continues, bitterly. "No one alive has a single memory of my baby."

Christina, Cara and Matthew move to stand by me and Tobias, to see the photo, which he hands to Matthew. Christina soon has tears running down her cheeks, and Cara puts an arm around her.

I turn my head to look at Tobias. His dark blue eyes are nearly black;. his pupils are huge and fierce, and his mouth his is grim. We say nothing, but his arms tighten around me protectively.

"How did they die?" asks Christina, looking fearful of the response.

"We were of the _privileged_ class - well educated and with comfortable and happy lives. Many in Indianapolis were...not so lucky, and tensions were mounting. There was a major riot between the 'haves' and 'have nots,' and we were caught in it," he replies quietly, now standing next to Matthew to gaze at the photo with us.

"Just at the wrong place, at the wrong time, then?" asked Christina, sympathetically, still dabbing her eyes.

"That's what the official report says," says Cerb gravely. "But I don't believe that anymore."

He sits down again in the chair and leans over with his head in his hands. He looks up again after a moment, locks eyes with each of us, in turn, and is then seemingly resolved to tell us the rest of the story.

"I was with them that day, but only injured in the riot. As I told you earlier, I was reset, and then brought here," he continues, slowly. "Like most who are reset, I initially just craved...some _stability_. I initially accepted the explanations I was given - that I'd been a single man and prominent scientist who was miraculously rescued from the riot, reset at my own request to escape the terrifying memories, and then relocated to the Bureau."

"But I couldn't seem to _connect _with anyone here, on a personal level. I was...almost a robot in a human body. I only knew how to work," he said. "A woman here...knew the _truth_ about my family, because she had grown up with my wife. At some point - at great risk to herself - she could no longer stand to know that her old friend was utterly forgotten by her own husband. She located and presented me the official riot report - a highly classified document - which listed my wife and daughter as fatalities. She thought the facts had been hidden from me as some sort of warped kindness, to help me to move on."

"That was a turning point for me. I soon became obsessive about covertly digging into my past on the computer, every chance I got," he says, and pauses for a moment, to collect his thoughts to our utter silence.

"You see, from years of studying the resetting serum, I was certain -and _still am_ - that the drug doesn't erase memories, but instead _cloaks_ them. I was certain that if I just came upon the _right_ piece of information from my past, it would miraculously unlock the memories that are hidden away in my mind - my wife and baby, and our life together... my childhood, my parents. Everything I've lost."

"As hard as I tried...I couldn't reverse the memory loss that way. So I tried something else, in utter desperation. I really felt that I had nothing left to lose," he says, sighing. "I theorized that the resetting serum directly impacts the prefrontal cortex lobes of the human brain...so maybe the 'de-cloaking' also needed to be triggered...directly."

Matthew looks up, excited.

"So you developed a serum to do that?"

"I did, yes," replies Cerb, a sad smile playing upon his lips. "I took all the factual information I had about my prior life - documents, photos, videos, interviews with my wife's childhood friend - and coded them into liquid form, with chemical qualities similar to natural brain fluid. I then... injected myself."

Noting his growing weariness, Cara hands Cerb a bottle of water, which he takes gratefully. He drinks some, wipes sweat from his brow and begins again.

"Did it work?" asks Cara, appearing nearly as excited as Matthew. Cerb sighed.

"No. Or, more to the point - like many of our greatest inventions throughout history, it didn't work as hoped. It didn't jar my memories to the surface," he replies, sadly. "But it _did_cause me to stumble upon something...quite significant. My brain began to immediately assimilate all of the information...**all** of it."

"Like people with photographic memories?" asks Matthew, excitedly.

"Precisely," Cerb replies, with a thin smile.

"That's...amazing!" exclaims Cara."The implications..."

"..._Are_ rather daunting," interrupts Cerb, briskly. "There _are_ limitations, though One can only inject small amounts of information at one time."

"And if you don't?" asks Christina, quizzically. Cerb sips more water as he seems to be considering the best response.

"It's... rather like trying to download a large file on a computer drive that has very little space left," he explains, with a short laugh. "It slows _everything_ down. It could presumably even cause the brain to crash all together, if severe enough."

Tobias has been silently holding me, but now shifts uncomfortably in the chair.

"So it could be used as a weapon, too?" he asks warily.

"Yes," says Cerb thoughtfully, "like virtually every thing else on earth, it could be harmful, in the wrong hands. That _is_ a _very_ important consideration. It simply can't get into the wrong hands."

"It is also vital to understand that memorization is not the same as learning. For instance, we could inject an illiterate person with the sounds and corresponding letters for the entire alphabet. He would immediately have that information memorized - very helpful - but he would _not_ automatically know how to _read_."

Cara jumps in, excitedly.

"He would still need to _learn_ how to connect all the sounds together, and then comprehend the information. Is that right, Cerb?"

The older man nods and beams at Cara. Tobias groans lightly, behind me.

"It's like we're back in school. What... _a dream come true_," he whispers sarcastically a few inches from my right ear, rolling his eyes. I turn to smile at him, but find that I'm struggling to keep my eyes open. His grin quickly turns into a concerned frown. The others are all watching us now.

"You need to lay down, Tris?" he asks anxiously, as the others all turn to look at us.

"Yes. Just..exhausted," I whisper, minimizing the raw throat pain still caused by virtually every sound I utter. "Okay...otherwise."

I begin to gather my robe together before I slide off his lap. Before I can do so, though, he places one arm underneath my knees with the other cradled around my shoulders, picks me up with ease, and walks over towards the bed. I really _should_ hate this, but I don't.

"_Shoo_, guys," he says brusquely to Cara, Christina and Matthew. They in turn swarm from the bed to battle for possession of our now- vacated chair.

A moment later, Christina ends up at the bottom of the huddle, a little out of breath, laughing and blushing slightly with Matthew on her lap. Cara is balanced on an arm of the chair.

"_Children..._please," says Cerb, with some annoyance. "Matthew - please be a gentleman and give the chair to the _ladies_."

Tobias pulls back the covers, and gently places me under them. I have to actually _work_ to not sigh contentedly, as he tucks me in - which I also _definitely_ shouldn't like.

Tobias grins, watching me. He reads me like a book sometimes. I stick my tongue out at him, which makes his smile even broader. Recognizing that our friends - and Cerb - are all watching and may find our _lovesick_ behavior less than adorable, I turn to my side to face the others. Despite my fatigue, I intend to remain in the discussion.

Matthew obliges Cerb's request grudgingly, and the girls squeeze together into the chair. I offer Matthew space at the end of the bed, with Tobias sitting behind me, turned towards the others.

"Like _that's_ fair...Tris gets the bed with _both_ guys," mumbles Christina, making the rest of us laugh, save Cerb.

"Are we quite _through_ now with our Chinese fire drill?" he asks. We all look back at him blankly for a moment, before he realizes, with a scowl, that we have no idea what he means. That just causes us to just chortle more.

"I'm...sorry...Cerb," I croak softly, and then gratefully take a cup of ice water from Tobias, and sip from it. "I'm...just...so tired...and we...still..need to..know..what...you want."

"Yeah..sorry Cerb," chimes in Matthew, looking guiltily at his supervisor. "We all know that this is really, really _important _and...we don't mean to seem...insensitive_. _ It's just...we didn't know _what_ to expect...and now we're so relieved about the video. And your story...your serum...it's just a lot to take in all at once. We just needed to let out some steam."

"Understood," says Cerb, with a thin smile. "Believe it or not, I was young once, too. I just can't remember it."

That, of course, shuts us all up completely. I cannot even fathom what it would be like to have no memories of childhood, little less young adulthood.

"I know this is a long and convoluted story. Unfortunately, I think you need to hear _all_ of it to understand what I'm asking of you, and why," he continues, solemnly. "I mentioned earlier that I don't believe my wife and daughter's deaths were just a matter of...bad timing."

He reaches into the envelope at the side of his chair, again, and pulls out several documents.

"These are the death certificates, my daughter's birth certificate and the official incident report for the day they died," he says, passing them to Cara and Christina first.

"I located the last document I'll show you only s few years ago, and only after _considerable_ hacking," he states grimly, handing it to Matthew first.

"I became especially curious about my professional endeavors before the resetting. I was a faculty member for the human biology department of prestigious university - I knew only that much. I couldn't locate any research papers, though," he says, stopping only to sip more water. "It turned out that I was looking in the wrong places. My research papers were not at the university, or in research journals, but instead buried beneath several layers of encryption, _right here_, on the Bureau's server."

"It seems that nearly 20 years ago, I was ready to publish _irrefutable_ research that the genetically damaged theories had no evidence behind them," he says bitterly, causing us all to gaze at him, stunned.

"So someone killed your family, reset you, and made it appear an accident...so that you couldn't go public with your research?" asks Christina, wide-eyed.

"I know for certain that someone made very sure that I'd _accidentally _end up in the midst of the riot. I don't know that my wife and daughter were purposely killed. It's very possible that they were only _collateral damage_," he says, nearly hissing the last two words.

"They were innocent...and their deaths were totally needless. Of that I'm certain. But I don't want revenge...anymore. It won't bring them back. I can't even honor their memory because I have no memories of them...yet. But I can... try to make our world a better one than the one that killed them."

"So you want justice...for your family?" asks Matthew, quietly.

"I want justice for _everyone_ who has suffered needlessly for too manyyears because of cruel, senseless policies...and I don't just mean the so-called genetically damaged," he says, his voice now a dangerous growl. "For _decades, _large segments of virtually every major human population on earth has been subjected to some mass resetting. In each case, leaders theorized that the best way to rid society of what _they _perceived as terrible problems was to simply obliterate the past and start everyone anew."

"What our leaders have failed to grasp is all the progress we've _lost_ by destroying our ability to _learn_ from our own history so that we can improve. Instead, we keep making the same horrible mistakes, over and over again."

These are very troubling ideas - especially since Cerb knows we caused the Bureau's resetting - and we all look duly horrified. Tobias stands up.

"What I don't understand, Cerb, is how you could have lived _peacefully _for so long with people who caused your wife and daughter to die! They killed you_ too, _really_,_ or at least the man you were," says Tobias roughly.

"That's quite right, Four, and you're asking exactly the right question," responds Cerb, also standing to face him, although he is at least a head shorter than Tobias. "The answer is in my serum. You see, as I searched for my own research, I found all sorts of documentation for why people of that time thought opposition to the Genetically Damaged theory was so dangerous. I literally injected my mind with _those_ facts, too. It didn't take away my anger... or my misery...and it definitely didn't change my own beliefs. What it _did _was to allow me to understand what happened and why...from perspectives other than my own. It gave me the patience to work through the problem and try to develop long-term and non-violent solutions."

He wipes his brow, and sips more water before continuing.

"You all know better than I the challenges that former members of Chicago's five factions - and the factionless - now face, in learning to _heal_ to become one community," he continues. "There _will_ be resentment and mistrust. Some may seek vengeance. Others will see this as an opportunity to grab power."

After all we have experienced in the last few months, it's hard to disagree with Cerb's assessment. I wish I could feel more optimistic about our city's future.

"From what I know - only from watching the video streams - there were strong values and good people in each of the factions. The city's problems were caused by a lack of understanding - and devaluing - between factions. While we can't rewrite history, we **can** build understanding - not only between the factions and factionless. We can also instill in people _the truth_ about how their entire social system came to be...and how it fits into our nation, as a whole. My serum can help to make this possible - _with your help_."

I think I see where this is going. i turn my head to look up at Tobias,who is still standing with an unreadable expression. Christina and Cara look troubled. Matthew alone looks very pleased.

"**Wow**. After decades of isolation... Chicago residents would all be injected with_...the truth?" _he says almost breathlessly_, _without waiting for a reply_. "_They'dknow the facts about their history, each of the factions, how the city's progress ties into the nation as a whole and...current global reality_?" _

"That's my ultimate plan, Matthew," replies Cerb slowly and with a bit of a crooked smile, as if accustomed and maybe a little amused by his long-time employee's tendency to talk at warp speed when excited.

"To this point, though, only **I** have used the serum. I've run more tests on myself than you can possibly imagine to document its effect on me - my behavior, my overall health, my brain itself. The serum has had very few side effects, and none long lasting. I'll gladly share it all with you, and undergo more tests to assuage any concerns, if needed," he continues, sighs deeply, and alternately locks eyes with each of us.

"You see, I hope that all of you...or at least some of you...will agree to be injected as participants in a pilot project..."

"Why us?" interjects Christina curtly, making me more grateful than ever for her Candor tendency to ask pointed questions. "Why would you even _trust_ us, after we just reset most of the population here?"

"Fair questions. To the first - you are all young and bright, and none of you have ever been reset. With the exception of Tris, you are all currently healthy, and we'll hopefully be able to say that of her soon, too," replies Cerb, nodding at me. "Perhaps more importantly - with the exception of Matthew - you've spent your entire lives, save the last, in the factions. You each have strong credibility with diverse segments of the population. Your background will cause you to be able to assimilate, interpret and analyze the facts in the serum in a much more relevant way than me - for the leaders and residents at least - because you already know Chicago at a much deeper level than I ever could."

"I have already had some communication with one of the city's new leaders about the serum, and it's potential for the future. She is interested in it, and proposed appointing several of you as special advisors to her and other officials for a year, so they can see the serum's impact firsthand. That, of course, assumes that you will agree to participate. I believe most of you already know her - Johanna Reyes."

I take a deep breath. This _proposal_ is all so strange and overwhelming, and yet it's also exhilarating, in spite of my fatigue. In the last couple of months, we've learned that almost everything we've believed about our existence was a lie. The idea of helping the factions and factionless to come together peacefully - around the _truth -_ just seems so right.

The fact that Johanna is on board is also reassuring. I respect her, and so does Tobias. I look up at him, and we lock eyes. He frowns slightly at my enthusiastic expression, wordlessly reminding me that we still have a lot of unanswered questions. Despite my gut feeling, maybe this is not the time to be the first jumper into the pit.

"You still didn't explain why you trust **us** for this," blurts out Tobias.

"I guess that _would_ seem odd, given your responsibility for the resetting here," replies Cerb wryly. He gulps down some more water before starting again. "Despite my hatred of resetting, I _do_ appreciate the fact that your choice was by far the more ethical of two bad choices."

He looks down for a moment, as if to compose his thoughts.

"I also...very much respect the courage that it took to take _that_ action," he continues, looking directly at me. "You see...in all the years since I was reset, the only person I've helped...was me. I've been telling myself that I was just waiting for the right time...to do... _more. _ I've allowed bad things to happen to some good people - by doing absolutely nothing - all under the _virtuous_ heading of patience.While there _is_ a time to be patient, there is also a time to act. Your actions are what finally inspired me..to understand that the time for me to act is **now**."

I think of Caleb's selflessness in the end, and hope that he somehow knows the good he inspired. Tobias grabs my hand and squeezes it.

"There is one more thing you should know," continues Cerb, now looking at Matthew. "The resetting serum that you used on the Bureau was modified by Matthew, using a process that he and I developed that makes it more humane than the one used on **me**, which would have been the serum strength dropped on Chicago. Through _our_ process, the serum's impact is targeted to memories that tie directly to specific key words and images. In this case, it related to the terms, 'genetically pure' and 'genetically damaged.' Once Bureau residents get beyond the initial resetting phase - in a week or two - many will regain some if not most of their memories."

I'm more than a bit relieved. We haven't uniformly submitted all Bureau residents to the same misery that Cerb just described, after all.

Cara still looks troubled though, knitting her eyebrows in concentration as she asks, "Some people here won't regain their memories, though?"

Matthew has been looking mildly annoyed by this part of the conversation. He jumps to his feet, making it clear that he wants to respond to Cara.

"That's right. I tried to explain.. ._before_...but I guess I didn't explain it very well," he replies, momentarily reminding me of the way Caleb would sometimes try to sound like he was humbly blaming himself for misunderstandings, when he actually believed they were due to others' limited intelligence. It's weird how that habit - which used to seem so annoying - now just seems like an endearing flaw.

"There's a difference in the way the brain stores deeply ingrained knowledge from how it retains information that we consider unimportant or inaccurate. Those who really believed in genetically pure superiority will probably never regain any of their memories," continues Matthew. "Those who just went along with the policies out of fear...or apathy...they'll begin to remember memories that had nothing to do with GD/GP soon."

Tobias lets out a deep breath as he drops back down on the bed beside me, still holding my hand.

"That makes me feel **somewhat** better about what we did," he tells Cerb, as Cara, Christina and I nod in agreement. "And I guess I understand why you want _us_ for your...experiment. Can we have some time to think about it before we answer, though?"

Cerb smiles thinly in response.

"Of course. You can tell me tomorrow, if that's acceptable to all? Same time, same place?"

We all nod, and all but Tobias and I begin to get ready to leave.

"Cerb...," I croak weakly, but apparently loud enough to catch his attention."I noticed...on the documents...that your... last. name...wasn't...always...Cerburus."

Cerb looks down for a long time, making wonder if he heard the question. He finally looks up at Tobias and me with a grim smile.

"My original last name was Smyth. Changing it to Cerberus was my own little inside joke...a secret act of rebellion against the Bureau," he explains. "Cerberus is a character from Greek mythology. He's a 3-headed dog who is cruelly forced endlessly guards a treasure. Each head takes a shift while the other two sleep, but they're all very much a part of the same creature."

"My wife and daughter are buried deep inside of me, as memories. For now, only I stand watch, but I'll find a way to awaken them, someday."

**This was a difficult chapter to write. Please let me know if it worked for you! While this chapter was pretty heavy on dialogue and drama with a new twist of sci-fi, it had almost no action (except "the chair grab")and not much of the ****_lovesick teenagers. _****The next two chapters will have much more of the latter two elements. Thanks again for your support! **


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